| THANK YOU to Will, who was patiently coaxing me through this confusing process of web hosting .... R.I.P. |
Dec. 29th, 2010: I know you knew but you didn't tell me. You were too smart not to know. I want the chance to tell you everything I forgot to say. Can't you see ... Death changes everything. Death changes everyone. |
| Jan. 2, 2011 My New Year's Resolution, is to live by the Golden Rule and treat others as they treat me.. some of you should be very afraid ... just saying .... |
Benjamin, & Jamie and the mother of his children, Sally D. Billings (Salsbery), all of San Jose, CA. He also leaves behind his very close and loving friend Michelle Reid of Canada. He is survived by his brother, Nathan Billings, mother, Marcia Harper, & grandmother, Jeanne Palmer. Predeceased by his father, Thomas H. Billings, grandfather, William E. Palmer & step-father, Dale K. Harper.
in loss prevention and sales. He loved playing cards on line, developing web sites, cooking and his two cats, Birdie & Gwenivere. Bill was a charming, funny, generous, competitive and loving man. He will be very much missed by his family and friends. Scattering of his ashes will be at a later date. Donations may be made to a charity of your choice. Published in San Jose Mercury News/San Mateo County Times from July 16 to July 17, 2010 |
Making this video was a painful kind of therapy for me. I shed a river of tears and still do everytime I watch it. It can't begin to show you all the great qualities that Will possessed but it gives you a glimpse into the happiness we shared. Will had a disease ~ yes he was an alcoholic. But his heart was in the right place and when we were together, he treated me like gold. That is until the alcohol took over and he became a different person. I choose to remember the "good" side of Will ~ the smart, happy, silly, caring, loving, and devoted Will. No one ever loved me more I'm sure and no one else ever Will. (pun intended) Still missing ewe today ...... |
| My son, Jonathan, is one of my biggest joys His growing years were some of the most content and happiest of my life. He was such an easy child - never causing problems. And if he ever needed discipline, I could hardly keep a straight face because he was sooooo good at making me laugh. Now he's all grown up and soon to be married and probably starting his own family. His happiness makes me happy!! And he still makes me laugh harder than anyone else. ~ yesterday he sent me a puter message to "mommy-spice" ... He just knows how to make me smile :)))) |
==================================================
It's been a productive month so far. Got my bathroom painted - finally !! It's not the perfect color but I'm learning to like it. I'll like it better when I get the matching towels and such. Work is keeping me busy (which I like). Year end time plus lots of work for H & S and more work in the near future for QB. Also built a new website for QB at www.qbdrilling.com - that's always fun to do. It's been bitterly cold here so only going out when I have to. Seems like I'm broke alot lately. Kind of a new feeling for me. My credit cards are getting a heavy workout. My entertainment is my animals. BarBQ is definitely showing her age - she's confused alot of the time and has trouble moving around much. She still wants to go everywhere I go tho - and I'm glad for her company. Maxx is such a sweetie - he's good for numerous smiles each day. Molly has her moods - sometimes she's a super-bitch !! But she's the one who cuddles up under my blankets with me at night. I really want to spend 2011 getting the trash out of my life. This means material things and also people who suck the happiness out of me. And I need to get into an exercise program quickly - my son's wedding will be here before I know it and I want to lose the pounds I gained last summer. I still think about Will everyday and miss his presence in my life. And I'm still finding little things he left around the house for me to discover ... hidden trinkets & notes. whataguy. I wish the whole world coulda seen the good in him like I did. He had alot of hidden good. Hope he's doing his wiggle in heaven and making everyone laugh. .... bye 4 now |
 | |  | |  |
Feb. 13, 2011 Have you ever belonged to a league? ... an online league that is. I've belonged to 2 leagues - both on pogo - and both for euchre. The first one closed down due to people wars - I was not one of the warriors. The second one I lost interest in. I'm usually drawn to play in a league from boredom - prolly the number 1 reason that people join leagues. People wars are not unusual in leagues (so I've learned). There's alot of secrets and backstabbing and such that goes on as everyone gets to know each other better and better. Each league has a leader and some are better than others. They get to decide what is acceptable behavior and what isn't. I thought I had found a real good league - and it was ... for awhile. Now I'm pretty sure I'm going to withdraw my membership - no big loss for the league since I haven't really played there much in the past 8 months. There are many annoying personalities in leagues but I've been fortunate to find a few lovely people. Those are the ones I hope to keep in contact with and would love to meet in person one day. Unfortunately, one of my friends in league got booted out a couple days ago. This is not the first time one of my friends has been forced to leave. I don't understand the reasoning. Since I'm not in "the loop", I only have one side of the story - but I have no reason to believe that its not the true version. Also, one of the people involved in the booting is someone that I don't have a good feeling about - just one of those vibe thingys ... you know the kind you get when you feel like someone doesn't really like you but they are pretending to be friendly. Well anyways ... this friend of mine tells me that he had passed on a verbal warning about a couple new members that had joined the league recently who were known shit-disturbers in other leagues. For that reason, they booted my friend out - said he was trying to start drama. Well here's the kicker: he was a TD in the league (which means he's like a boss under the boss) and it's kind of his job to watch out for the league (i.e. warn them about potential problems). Also, these people yak and discuss other members all the time - it's not like this is something new. And the person that my friend passed on the warning to, is supposed to be a very good friend - so this is like a double slap in the face for him. He's actually had her and her hubby as guests in his home more than once. In league world, that makes you tighter friends than people who have never met in person. Needless to say, he's crushed - feels betrayed by all his "friends" - and is at a point in his life where he's still very raw from a messy divorce, and separation from his kids. Being hurt like this is just pouring salt in the wound. I sure don't understand how the "powers" can decide that this is such a punishable crime against ... who ? These are the same "powers" who decided my other friend had to leave because she made a comment that they were afraid MIGHT hurt another specific member's feelings. Ummm - that one would be wayyyyyy too complicated to tell you about - too many twists and turns involving crushes, flirting, married people having affairs (all of which is very common in league world and also seemingly acceptable by the "powers") LOL. So I guess the only thing I've learned is that some drama is ok and some isn't - and the rules change depending on who's involved and what ulterior motive is in play. I am trying not to be judgemental. All I can do is decide what is right for me. And I'm not comfortable there anymore, even tho I'm not one bit surprised that even more people that I've met online have become NOT exactly how they first appeared to be ... so I guess my decision is made. This one's for you Will, MJ, Was, DiDi, Squeeks, Polish, and anyone else who's been hurt by friends and strangers in a toxic euchre room disguised as the family you always wished you had. |
Happy Valentine's Day to all. My day started with a long chat and a Happy V Day from my son ... that's a good way to start anyday :) Just me and the animals here today - Rick is out working / drilling. I had a beautiful bouquet of flowers delivered this morning but they weren't for me - they were for my neighbor. This will be the first year since 2005 that I haven't received a bouquet on Valentine's morning. Can't help but think about Will and happier days. And yet I have alot of love in my life - I know I'm lucky. What would I do without Rick ? ... he's my rock! My Mom - I'm so lucky to still have her and I love spending time with her - what an amazing woman! I miss my Dad - R.I.P. - wish it didn't take me so long to realize how wonderful you were. My sister is always there for me when I need her even if we don't speak everyday. I have a few wonderful friends - true friends - not the wishy-washy kind. I have 3 very different brothers - and I love when we can all get together in the same city at the same time (doesn't happen very often). My son is still the brightest light in my life - I'm so proud of him and miss him terribly!! Today he's trying to convince me to move closer to where he lives - I just might do that one of these years! (especially when the grandbabies start coming - I couldn't stand not seeing them all the time as they grow & change so quickly). I don't know if I'll ever feel romantic love in my life again. I don't feel like I've missed out on anything. I got to experience it all so I don't have a desire to look for it. I would be quite content to spend the rest of my life comfortably surrounded by those I love and all the sweet memories. It would be hard for any other man to live up to the strength I find in Rick and the love I received from Will. I know I've been blessed. Thank you Jesus |
| remember you're unique, just like everyone else !! :))) |
 | |  | |  | |  | |  | |  |
| | | | |
| | | | | | | | | | |
 | |  |
| | |